This Was That Day Plus Our Family Vacay
That day was August 13, 2006...
This day is August 13, 2018...
How has it been 14 years since she left? This is the date that my grandmother passed away. This is the day I lost being someone's child... and today is August 13th, 2018. I just came back from a wonderful family vacation with my children--2 of them plus a daughter-in-law plus two grandchildren. My oldest and youngest could not join us this time. I started back to work today. Well, truthfully, my official start date is Thursday, August 16th, but I went to my new school today to at least start unpacking some of the many boxes and get an idea of room arrangement, etc... My principal, who happens to also be a good friend, helped me move furniture and rearrange some things. As we were working, she asked me, "Why are you sad? Are you not happy to be here? Are you not excited? Is it because you are teaching 3rd grade?" She asked me the "sad question" at least 5 times. She told me I just didn't look right. Honestly, I am excited to be there and I am looking forward to a new grade level, new colleagues, new school... all of it. I didn't even realize I looked sad. I told her it was because my ankle/leg hurt pretty badly. It's been hurting since I got back from WA. My children think I have a stress fracture; I am refusing to believe it. So I keep pressing on in hopes that the pain will just go away. That was the reason I gave her. She asked me again... "Come on. What's wrong? You look sad and not yourself." So I thought about it. In my subconscious, I was missing my children. I didn't want to go home to an empty quiet house after having such wonderful days with half of the people I love most in this world. You know how it is after vacation... the re-entry to real life quite frankly, sucks. It takes a few days to get the Reality Legs back under you. It's depressing in a lot of ways. Inevitable, but still depressing. After being surrounded by adult children and grandchildren for 7 straight days, being active and doing fun things, cooking and eating meals together, sleeping with my sweet granddaughter every night and singing our favorite songs, it's very difficult being home with no one but myself (and the crazy dog). I suppose it has affected me more than I realized and I suppose that is what she saw today.
And another reason perhaps is the fact that it is August 13th. I remember this day every year. I remember exactly where I was when I got the call. I remember feeling traumatized; my brain and body simply shut down. I didn't hurry. I remember operating in slow motion. However, more than any of those awful feelings, on this day I choose to remember my grandmother for all she meant to me, all she did for me, the incredible woman she was, the legacy she left behind, the lessons she taught me, and the extraordinary love she gave me every day of my life. I so miss being loved like "her love." I celebrate her and give thanks for the gift of her in my life for 44 years.
Our family vacation was wonderful. It was stress-free (most of the time). It was us being together doing or not doing. That's the beauty of vacation; we can do what we want when we want. I have determined that I will do my very best to provide one week every year where we can all be together. It's a priority I have set because I believe it is THAT important. The last three years it has been at the beach. Who knows? Maybe next time we will go to the mountains. The great thing is we can go wherever we want to go. I just want all of us-- my children and grandchildren to spend time together. It is so important. Quality time is precious and there is beauty and magic and building of relationships, and communication happens when time is spent with those we love and care about. Time is a great gift. Quality time is my love language. It has always been my love language. I love nothing more than being WITH my people.
What did we do on our beach vacation? We spent a lot of our time sitting on the beach watching Cannon and Ella play in the ocean and on the sand. We sat under the umbrellas reading and eating and laughing and taking dozes in the sun. Cannon and Ella took naps under the umbrella right on the sand right by the ocean going to sleep with the lulling of waves breaking over each other. We couldn't believe they would lay down and actually go to sleep but they did. Twice it was only Ella and I on the beach and I enjoyed every second of watching her sleep. One of those times I had to snatch her up before the incoming tide got to her. I tried building a sand wall so the water wouldn't get near her but it didn't work. ha We went to the pool; we read books and some played video games; we ate good food. We went outlet shopping and Aquarium visiting and Putt-Putting and walking around at Broadway at the Beach. All in all we had a most wonderful week.
Here are a few Snaps of our fun time:
So the real truth is I was sad on this day. It was a "different day" but one with real emotions and memories and of missing. It was the missing most of all. I know that I'll get used to being "just me" again, but it doesn't mean I have to like it and I sure don't have to be on some timetable where all of a sudden I'm hit with "I'M BAAACK." Some things take time and I'm OK with giving it to myself. :) If you need to give yourself time for something, then take it and don't feel bad about it.
Love,
D~ and Bailey
This day is August 13, 2018...
How has it been 14 years since she left? This is the date that my grandmother passed away. This is the day I lost being someone's child... and today is August 13th, 2018. I just came back from a wonderful family vacation with my children--2 of them plus a daughter-in-law plus two grandchildren. My oldest and youngest could not join us this time. I started back to work today. Well, truthfully, my official start date is Thursday, August 16th, but I went to my new school today to at least start unpacking some of the many boxes and get an idea of room arrangement, etc... My principal, who happens to also be a good friend, helped me move furniture and rearrange some things. As we were working, she asked me, "Why are you sad? Are you not happy to be here? Are you not excited? Is it because you are teaching 3rd grade?" She asked me the "sad question" at least 5 times. She told me I just didn't look right. Honestly, I am excited to be there and I am looking forward to a new grade level, new colleagues, new school... all of it. I didn't even realize I looked sad. I told her it was because my ankle/leg hurt pretty badly. It's been hurting since I got back from WA. My children think I have a stress fracture; I am refusing to believe it. So I keep pressing on in hopes that the pain will just go away. That was the reason I gave her. She asked me again... "Come on. What's wrong? You look sad and not yourself." So I thought about it. In my subconscious, I was missing my children. I didn't want to go home to an empty quiet house after having such wonderful days with half of the people I love most in this world. You know how it is after vacation... the re-entry to real life quite frankly, sucks. It takes a few days to get the Reality Legs back under you. It's depressing in a lot of ways. Inevitable, but still depressing. After being surrounded by adult children and grandchildren for 7 straight days, being active and doing fun things, cooking and eating meals together, sleeping with my sweet granddaughter every night and singing our favorite songs, it's very difficult being home with no one but myself (and the crazy dog). I suppose it has affected me more than I realized and I suppose that is what she saw today.
And another reason perhaps is the fact that it is August 13th. I remember this day every year. I remember exactly where I was when I got the call. I remember feeling traumatized; my brain and body simply shut down. I didn't hurry. I remember operating in slow motion. However, more than any of those awful feelings, on this day I choose to remember my grandmother for all she meant to me, all she did for me, the incredible woman she was, the legacy she left behind, the lessons she taught me, and the extraordinary love she gave me every day of my life. I so miss being loved like "her love." I celebrate her and give thanks for the gift of her in my life for 44 years.
Our family vacation was wonderful. It was stress-free (most of the time). It was us being together doing or not doing. That's the beauty of vacation; we can do what we want when we want. I have determined that I will do my very best to provide one week every year where we can all be together. It's a priority I have set because I believe it is THAT important. The last three years it has been at the beach. Who knows? Maybe next time we will go to the mountains. The great thing is we can go wherever we want to go. I just want all of us-- my children and grandchildren to spend time together. It is so important. Quality time is precious and there is beauty and magic and building of relationships, and communication happens when time is spent with those we love and care about. Time is a great gift. Quality time is my love language. It has always been my love language. I love nothing more than being WITH my people.
What did we do on our beach vacation? We spent a lot of our time sitting on the beach watching Cannon and Ella play in the ocean and on the sand. We sat under the umbrellas reading and eating and laughing and taking dozes in the sun. Cannon and Ella took naps under the umbrella right on the sand right by the ocean going to sleep with the lulling of waves breaking over each other. We couldn't believe they would lay down and actually go to sleep but they did. Twice it was only Ella and I on the beach and I enjoyed every second of watching her sleep. One of those times I had to snatch her up before the incoming tide got to her. I tried building a sand wall so the water wouldn't get near her but it didn't work. ha We went to the pool; we read books and some played video games; we ate good food. We went outlet shopping and Aquarium visiting and Putt-Putting and walking around at Broadway at the Beach. All in all we had a most wonderful week.
Here are a few Snaps of our fun time:
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| My little sleeping buddies |
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| Ahhhhhh... |
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| Beach naps on Grammy |
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| Both fell asleep. It's a Beach Vacation Miracle. |
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| J and M |
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| This girl loved her by the ocean naps! |
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| It was really hot!! |
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| Just another day and this girl would be swimming on her own! |
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| Murrell's Inlet doing the "Marsh Walk" |
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| This is how we fit everyone in the photo. :) The first beach walk of the week. |
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| Eating lunch together before all going back home. Another vacation in the books! |
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| Broadway at the Beach and feeding those ENORMOUS catfish! |
So the real truth is I was sad on this day. It was a "different day" but one with real emotions and memories and of missing. It was the missing most of all. I know that I'll get used to being "just me" again, but it doesn't mean I have to like it and I sure don't have to be on some timetable where all of a sudden I'm hit with "I'M BAAACK." Some things take time and I'm OK with giving it to myself. :) If you need to give yourself time for something, then take it and don't feel bad about it.
Love,
D~ and Bailey
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