Another Would Have Been Anniversary

 Today is August 3, 2023... for whatever reason this date, August 3, is hard for me. Why? Today would have been our 39th wedding anniversary if there had been no divorce. Someone I know posted something on Facebook several weeks ago on her "would have been" anniversary and I loved what she said. It struck a chord with me and I thought a long time about what she said, and I realized, "You know what? She's right." So I am going to share what she said here changing the date of course and a few other things too. It helped me and maybe it will help someone else who finds anniversary dates sometimes difficult. 

"This post may seem odd, but I want to acknowledge a day that meant a great deal to me for a long time." Today would have been my 39th wedding anniversary. This is a hard day in a lot of ways. Divorce is oftentimes looked upon as something you don't openly grieve, but loss is loss. The couple who walked down a church aisle on August, 3rd, at 7:00, in Asheville, NC, was happy. We had our lives before us-together-plans, hopes, and dreams. "We had no thoughts of not making it as a team. Life had different plans. I grieve that openly today." I grieve the loss of my husband, friend, protector, and provider, my person. I grieve the loss of a whole family unit for my children and grandchildren. It IS a loss for everyone. "Yet, even though we're divorced...and August 3 will come and go without a wedding anniversary, I will choose to celebrate it because marriage taught me how to love. It taught me how to live and create new life. Divorce taught me how to survive, and believe in myself." I actually CAN do hard things! I never in a million years believed I could do all I have done by myself in the last 8 years, but here I am. "So from now on, on August 3rd, I will celebrate the life we created while we were happy together." There were a lot of happy times and I am thankful for those. I am forever thankful for our children. They are the best parts of us; my children are my greatest joy and being their mother has been my greatest gift. This marriage gave me a large extended family that I will forever be grateful for and I will always love each and every one.

So "Happy Anniversary," regardless of what it means. "Love never really ends...it just becomes something else."

Life is hard, but it can be beautiful,

D~



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