When Love Is All You See

When your first child gets married, it's a really big deal. It's new and you learn as you go and you don't know what to expect and it's exciting. So I have to post about Jared and Marenda's wedding. It was wonderful. It was beautiful. It was a day to remember.

The weeks leading up to the wedding were stressful; I'm not gonna lie. Weddings are SO MUCH WORK! Plus so expensive even on a budget. Budget? HA HA  Not only is the "lead up to the big day" a lot of work and stressful, but it is highly emotional. Emotional in many ways... as the mom of the groom I admit my job was much less than the mom of the bride (thank God), however, I bet our emotions were the same. Our babies, our Littles, the children we birthed and raised and gave our lives to will no longer be ours. It's a real reckoning moment for sure.

I don't know about you, but as a parent one of my main concerns when Jared shared he was getting married was "Oh, my! How in the world are these kids going to make it financially? They are so young. They don't have full-time jobs; they are still in school. What are they going to do?" Then, "Why not wait until you have both graduated? What's the hurry? Marriage is hard work and stressful all by itself and then add school on top of it. It's going to be rough." Well, nothing doing. They were determined. Their minds were made up and nothing anyone said was going to change it. Know kids like this? Yep, I bet you do. (I was one of them.) So after I was accused of being "the only one" not excited about the upcoming nuptials, I decided to shut up and just jump into the fray of planning a wedding. My relationship with my son was more important than anything else. So that's what I did. I squelched my concerns and wholeheartedly committed to making this a wonderful experience for my boy and his soon to be bride.

Some of my dear friends hosted a shower for J and M in March. It was such a fun event and we got to visit with people we hadn't seen in a very long time. Marenda's mother, aunt, and cousin were able to be at the shower as well. Marenda's family all live in northern West Virginia. It was a long drive for them, but I was happy they could be here for the occasion. Marenda needed to meet the folks who have been an integral part of Jared's life and our family's life. These are people who have loved and cared about Jared since he was a little boy and some who loved him even before he was born.

 This was the Guest Sign In...everyone put their thumbprints on the tree and signed their name with their print. Great idea and a neat gift to give the couple at the end of the shower.

There was another wedding shower for them in West Virginia a couple of weeks after this one. I was able to go and meet all of Marenda's family. It was a lot of fun and another very successful shower.

The wedding was May 22, 2016, at Stonewall Resort in Roanoke, WV. This is a beautiful resort out in the middle of Nowhere! Who knew! I had already predetermined that this was going to be a wonderful weekend. Emotions were already running high just because this was my child getting married. Throw in the fact that his dad and I would be operating on two separate ends of the family line so to speak and the fact that dad's girlfriend would be in attendance as well. Whether you agree with me or not, this was all very high stress for me. I had been dreading this for months. I wasn't sure how it would all go down, but in my mind, I decided it would be fabulous for my son. I would see to it. 

Things were busy from the second we arrived on Friday afternoon until we left on Monday afternoon. As we arrived, other family members arrived and of course we had to hug and love and visit for awhile. Friday evening was the most laid back of the evenings. All members of the bridal party were finally together and they had a cookout/hot tub gathering at the bride's parents' cabin they had rented for the week. I was nominated, as well as my friend, Brown, to be the designated drivers for the night. We were on call if you will. I was more than happy to be the DD. The kids had a great time and it was a late night but memories were made by all. 

Saturday was my day to get into action mode. The Rehearsal Dinner. Thank God for helping hands is all I can say! We weren't able to get into the room until around 2:00. The rehearsal was to start at 5:00 and dinner at 6:00! We started prepping long before 2:00 and as soon as they gave us the go ahead, we were in that room like bees to honey! The decorations, the Groom's Cake, the photos, seating arrangement, room set up, etc... It all got done and it looked fantastic. I have to give a shout out to the staff at the resort. They were ALL so accommodating and nice and super to work with, especially when there was a hiccup in the room set up. (I kind of got "anxious" about it, but they fixed it in a short amount of time and all was right with the world again.) I felt a great amount of pressure to make this a special night for all, but especially for Jared and Marenda. I did this all on my own. Dad gave zero help to this night. Dad paid for the dinner, but as to the "making it look good and be awesome," that was all on me. I, of course, enlisted my Wonder Helpers... Katie, Brown, Katelyn, Charlie, Chandler. They were all life savers. Katelyn has beautiful handwriting so she wrote out the seating chart on this HUGE chalkboard. Katie brought all the gorgeous flowers from her yard in Asheville, NC (you will see) and she arranged them in the bottles that she and I made together several weeks prior to the wedding. The saying is true, "Many hands make light work." Boy, was I ever thankful for these people! Some Snaps of the end result...

The Groom's Cake. When Jared was little, he thought he was a Super Hero, thus the cape. Then his passion became soccer-playing soccer, thus the jersey with his name and number. :) 

This is a poem I had specially made for Jared to be read at the Rehearsal dinner... his cousin designed the print...
"To A Little Boy."

The flowers from Katie's yard were simply gorgeous!

 It turned out to be a wonderful evening for J and M and for everyone in attendance. After the dinner portion of the night, we had a Welcome Reception for all the guests who were already at the hotel but not part of the wedding party. We had a fun time for sure.

Sunday, Wedding Day, was very special. Honestly, it is pretty much a blur to me. I don't remember many details. Details that I probably should remember. I was nervous about this day. I was feeling anxious and my heart was kind of racing all day long. I knew what kind of day this was going to be... it's WEDDING and all things WEDDING. The days leading up to the wedding were filled with many emotions/thoughts/feelings/what ifs. Like I mentioned before, I made it my personal mission to focus only on my son and his happiness. I believe this is why I don't remember many of the details. During the ceremony, I kept my sights on the kids and their reactions and facial expressions to each other. I watched my son's eyes as he looked at his bride. I saw immense love there and in my heart, I was bursting with love for my child and this special day of his. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was committing his life to this young woman and my heart was silently praying that she was doing the same for him. "Please God, give him all that his heart desires. A lifetime of love and happiness and commitment. A marriage that will last through any and all trials and tribulations. A life filled with children and grandchildren, a life he loves with the love of his life." Sitting beside me was my youngest son, next to him my oldest son, then my mother-in-law, and next to her, the father of my children.  My daughter was standing as one of the bridesmaids. I had so much to be thankful for at that moment. Of course, as the message was being delivered, vows promised each to the other, I couldn't help but think of another wedding day. A wedding day 30+ years earlier, August 3, 1984. I thought that would be my "happily ever after" day. As the minister spoke to J and M, it felt as if a hot knife was twisting in my gut and bad thoughts crept into my mind like, "How did you fail so miserably at this? Why did you quit? You could've made it work; you lasted 30 years. You just gave up; we just gave up on each other. What about those same vows you said to each other on that day? You trashed it all and for what?" Yeah, not so good thoughts, right? Well, I had more determination than those evil thoughts. I pushed them away. I stomped on them. I concentrated on my boy. It was his face that carried me through that ceremony and the events of Wedding Day. When love is all you see, you can do anything. 

Here are some beautiful photos of their wedding day...

Siblings... was 4, now 5!

Both families

Now I have TWO girls!!

This was Jared's reaction to his "First Look" at his bride. I love this picture!

Jared's good buddies and his cousin on the far right

This is one of my favorites!

The married couple 

Mother-Son Dance... "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins (take a listen)
We talked all the way through the song because if we didn't, I would have cried my eyes out! ha

This picture shows what I mean by, "when love is all you see." He was all I saw that day and I sure hope he felt the overwhelming love that was his then and forever. Her husband, but my boy.

One down, three to go!!

Love,
D~