'cause really, life is what you make it
Sunday, September 28, 2014... the day for my youngest is finally here. He has been waiting for this day for a looooong time, years in fact. He had to wait until he turned 18 and that day was March 28th, exactly 6 months ago. Now we are at Carolina Skydiving in Jonesville, NC, waiting for HIS opportunity to jump out of a perfectly good airplane! :o) Jacob was 7 years old when his dad jumped for the first time and he was 10 years old when he watched his oldest brother do his first skydive. He has always said, "When I turn 18, I want to skydive." Well, that dream is about to come true. Although we've had to reschedule twice now due to inclement weather, the excitement is still just as high as it was all those years ago. If the weather had not cooperated today and the jump had been cancelled, I'm not sure any of us would have survived the fallout of disappointment!
Jacob is seriously about to cross something off of his "bucket list" and he's only 18 years old! Life is what we make it, People! We go for it! We get a vision or we think of a plan; we have a dream and we do what it takes. Pitfalls happen and will continue to happen, but the point is that we keep on keeping on... 'cause really, life is what we make it. Its.What.We.Make.It.
I've been on this "Plan B Journey" for a long time now. I have learned so much. I have tried and failed but dusted off and gotten back up again. I have grown as a person. I am "transitioning" as one friend told me. I guess I am. I have finally, for the first time in my life, figured out what I want for the "rest of my life." I am beginning to know me. You may think that sounds totally ridiculous, but honestly, I have never had the time or taken the time, to get to know myself before this "split." Who is Dawn? What do I want to do with the "second half?" Who do I want to be? What do I want to accomplish? What kind of person and with whom do I want to spend time with, be with for the last long haul? For 30 years I gave my time to someone else, to my children, to my grandparents and other family members. I don't regret giving that time at all and I wouldn't change a thing, but what I do regret is not allowing myself the freedom to know me and figure me out. You know one of my "hidden dreams" has always been to write a book--whether a children's book or even my own life story? Seriously, the life story book would make for a wild read!! National Bestseller b/c people like to read crazy sh...! Or that I would love to work in the West Wing of the White House? Press Secretary or Aide to the President or Madam Secretary has my name all over it! Or be an Event Planner for some major corporation and travel all over the world doing a job I know I could rock? But when I was raising my family, four very active children, I didn't think of those things. I thought of all of their things and how to keep them on track and busy so there would be no room for getting in trouble. I've done more elementary and middle school projects than should be humanly possible. I attended ten million and one athletic events between the four of them and took pictures and was the Team Mom more times than I can count. I was on the PTA. I was the grademom or room parent for all four of them many times over. All of the kids have had very impressive/creative birthday parties. Christmas at our house was like living at Santa's Land or some kind of Christmas Gingerbread House. I've made three very impressive scrapbooks and I still have one more to go before he graduates in June! Well, actually I have made only 2, b/c the Sister made her own. (she's good like that) I wanted my children to have the best mom I could give them and that required every ounce of my time. I wanted our home to be beautiful and happy and a place where my kids thought that there was no better place to be than their own home.
This "on my own" stage was not in the plan, but here it is. Here I am with a "blank slate" so to speak. I am determined to figure it out. I am 51 years old and way past the caring about what people think anymore stage. If I want to tell someone something, I tell them. If I have feelings to share, I share them. If I find someone I want to spend time with, I make sure it happens. There is no time to waste these days. We are only given so many days on this earth and I am finding I very much want to make the best of them. Why do people wait until they retire from some job to start living? Why do people fill all of their time with appointments and obligations and projects and social functions? Yes, all of these things are important to do and let's face it, we all have obligations and jobs, and a multitude of things we must do for this or that; we do have responsibilities, but in order to live a well balanced, healthy joy filled life, we have to make choices. Sometimes those choices are very difficult to make and more often than not, those choices require a great deal of courage to step out and do something different from what we've always done, but oftentimes it's those difficult/let it go choices that leads to unbelievable happiness and a path never before imagined. WOW! Where do I sign up!?!
I spent several hours with my aunt yesterday. She is currently residing in a nursing home in Asheville, NC. I walked through those halls yesterday completely disgusted, horrified, painfully guilt ridden knowing Fig (her name is Peg, but I've called her this little nickname since I was a young girl) is so very sad to be left in this place. All she wants to do is go home. Most of the residents are just human flesh waiting to die. I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but it's what I *see* when I am there; it is incredibly sad. My heart literally hurts when I leave there. So I began thinking about all of this as my healthy self walked around the facility so easily; I could leave when I wanted to leave, drive a car, go wherever I wanted to go with no assistance, dance and sing, be with my friends and loved ones, go and do fun things, be free to love... these folks cannot. Their time has come and gone. GONE! I forced myself to look at my own life. I mean, I really looked inward and around and in every corner. I have so much life yet to live. The only constraints I have are of my own making. Mine. My quality of life is freaking amazing compared to my aunt and these other residents. So I say, "What's your plan, Dawn? What are you gonna do with yourself now? Whatever it is, make it count!"
Jacob did get to jump today. It most likely was the highlight or at least in the top 3 highlights of his 18 year life. Jacob doesn't show excitement like my other kids. The others would have been hooping and hollering it up when they landed back to earth. The adrenaline pumping from their bodies would have been clearly evident, but Jacob let out a "YEAH!" and then calmly walked up the hill to where we were standing just like he had been doing this every day of his life. I am so happy this boy got to skydive today. He found something he really wanted to do and he kept the desire alive until he was old enough to make it happen. He wanted it. He waited for it. It happened. Much like life. The things in life that are worth anything require effort, persistence, perseverance, a determination to get what is desired. It could be a job, a profession, a relationship you hope to have with someone, travel opportunities, further schooling, more degrees, a house of your own, better health and wellness... the list is endless. Whatever it is that *you* want, go after it with both barrels. Don't take "no" for an answer. Find a way around the obstacles. Life is but a vapor and our time here is limited. I firmly believe that if we could do this in our lives, the doors to LIFE would fling wide open!! How crazy exciting is that!!
Here's to more jumps-in the sky and in life!
D~
"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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| It's about to get real right here! |
I've been on this "Plan B Journey" for a long time now. I have learned so much. I have tried and failed but dusted off and gotten back up again. I have grown as a person. I am "transitioning" as one friend told me. I guess I am. I have finally, for the first time in my life, figured out what I want for the "rest of my life." I am beginning to know me. You may think that sounds totally ridiculous, but honestly, I have never had the time or taken the time, to get to know myself before this "split." Who is Dawn? What do I want to do with the "second half?" Who do I want to be? What do I want to accomplish? What kind of person and with whom do I want to spend time with, be with for the last long haul? For 30 years I gave my time to someone else, to my children, to my grandparents and other family members. I don't regret giving that time at all and I wouldn't change a thing, but what I do regret is not allowing myself the freedom to know me and figure me out. You know one of my "hidden dreams" has always been to write a book--whether a children's book or even my own life story? Seriously, the life story book would make for a wild read!! National Bestseller b/c people like to read crazy sh...! Or that I would love to work in the West Wing of the White House? Press Secretary or Aide to the President or Madam Secretary has my name all over it! Or be an Event Planner for some major corporation and travel all over the world doing a job I know I could rock? But when I was raising my family, four very active children, I didn't think of those things. I thought of all of their things and how to keep them on track and busy so there would be no room for getting in trouble. I've done more elementary and middle school projects than should be humanly possible. I attended ten million and one athletic events between the four of them and took pictures and was the Team Mom more times than I can count. I was on the PTA. I was the grademom or room parent for all four of them many times over. All of the kids have had very impressive/creative birthday parties. Christmas at our house was like living at Santa's Land or some kind of Christmas Gingerbread House. I've made three very impressive scrapbooks and I still have one more to go before he graduates in June! Well, actually I have made only 2, b/c the Sister made her own. (she's good like that) I wanted my children to have the best mom I could give them and that required every ounce of my time. I wanted our home to be beautiful and happy and a place where my kids thought that there was no better place to be than their own home.
This "on my own" stage was not in the plan, but here it is. Here I am with a "blank slate" so to speak. I am determined to figure it out. I am 51 years old and way past the caring about what people think anymore stage. If I want to tell someone something, I tell them. If I have feelings to share, I share them. If I find someone I want to spend time with, I make sure it happens. There is no time to waste these days. We are only given so many days on this earth and I am finding I very much want to make the best of them. Why do people wait until they retire from some job to start living? Why do people fill all of their time with appointments and obligations and projects and social functions? Yes, all of these things are important to do and let's face it, we all have obligations and jobs, and a multitude of things we must do for this or that; we do have responsibilities, but in order to live a well balanced, healthy joy filled life, we have to make choices. Sometimes those choices are very difficult to make and more often than not, those choices require a great deal of courage to step out and do something different from what we've always done, but oftentimes it's those difficult/let it go choices that leads to unbelievable happiness and a path never before imagined. WOW! Where do I sign up!?!
I spent several hours with my aunt yesterday. She is currently residing in a nursing home in Asheville, NC. I walked through those halls yesterday completely disgusted, horrified, painfully guilt ridden knowing Fig (her name is Peg, but I've called her this little nickname since I was a young girl) is so very sad to be left in this place. All she wants to do is go home. Most of the residents are just human flesh waiting to die. I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but it's what I *see* when I am there; it is incredibly sad. My heart literally hurts when I leave there. So I began thinking about all of this as my healthy self walked around the facility so easily; I could leave when I wanted to leave, drive a car, go wherever I wanted to go with no assistance, dance and sing, be with my friends and loved ones, go and do fun things, be free to love... these folks cannot. Their time has come and gone. GONE! I forced myself to look at my own life. I mean, I really looked inward and around and in every corner. I have so much life yet to live. The only constraints I have are of my own making. Mine. My quality of life is freaking amazing compared to my aunt and these other residents. So I say, "What's your plan, Dawn? What are you gonna do with yourself now? Whatever it is, make it count!"
Jacob did get to jump today. It most likely was the highlight or at least in the top 3 highlights of his 18 year life. Jacob doesn't show excitement like my other kids. The others would have been hooping and hollering it up when they landed back to earth. The adrenaline pumping from their bodies would have been clearly evident, but Jacob let out a "YEAH!" and then calmly walked up the hill to where we were standing just like he had been doing this every day of his life. I am so happy this boy got to skydive today. He found something he really wanted to do and he kept the desire alive until he was old enough to make it happen. He wanted it. He waited for it. It happened. Much like life. The things in life that are worth anything require effort, persistence, perseverance, a determination to get what is desired. It could be a job, a profession, a relationship you hope to have with someone, travel opportunities, further schooling, more degrees, a house of your own, better health and wellness... the list is endless. Whatever it is that *you* want, go after it with both barrels. Don't take "no" for an answer. Find a way around the obstacles. Life is but a vapor and our time here is limited. I firmly believe that if we could do this in our lives, the doors to LIFE would fling wide open!! How crazy exciting is that!!
Here's to more jumps-in the sky and in life!
D~
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| One happy boy! |
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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