Boys Will Be Boys... but Good Grief!

As a parent, you worry about your children from the moment they burst out of their true safe haven into this world of "there is no true safe haven" anymore. As the kids grow, so does a parent's worry.  I tell my friends all the time, "you haven't seen anything yet!" To me, the years before age 18 were "easy." For whatever reason, it's those late teen/early twenties/mid twenties years that makes the first 18 look like a cake walk!  Just sayin'.

Two Saturdays ago, I had worked out in my yard all day long. I was tired. I showered late and got in bed about 11:30pm. I wanted to read a little before falling asleep. Well, about midnight my phone rings. I look at the number and it is a local "336" number. I didn't recognize it, but thought, "if I'm getting a local call this late, then it can't be a good thing."  I answered it with some fear; I'm not gonna lie.  "Hello. Is this Dawn Garlow?"  I say, "Yes, it is."  Then he proceeds with what a parent fears the most, "This is Deputy Sheriff ______ from _____ County"... When I hear the "Deputy Sheriff" part, my heart stops for a brief moment until I hear him say, "No one is hurt"...  I relaxed somewhat b/c I knew that my child (whichever one it was) was not dead or maimed or on the way to the hospital and neither was anyone else. If you have children who can drive by themselves now, then you KNOW exactly what I'm talking about. Perhaps you've even been on the receiving end of one of these "Deputy Sheriff" phone calls. Whether you have or haven't, it's a horrendous feeling.  My next thought was, "which kid is it?" Actually, I had a pretty good idea. It had to be one of two of my boys. Jared was still at college, so it couldn't be him and it was highly unlikely it was my daughter. So that left the oldest and the youngest.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to call you, but I have your son, Jacob Garlow(this is the youngest), and he is being detained and charged with"...  I'm pretty sure I was holding my breath as this Deputy was talking.  So I listened. I asked questions. I felt sick inside. Then after we talk for several minutes and I try to absorb what he is telling me, Mr. Deputy says, "Can you come get your son?"  I respond, "Of course, I will come get him. I have to get dressed and then I will be right there. It will take me at least 20/25 minutes to get there." So as I am flying around trying to hurry and get dressed, my mind is racing. When I heard the words, "detained and charged with," I knew this could be bad, real bad. But more than that and aside from trying to not freak out, I was thinking, "What am I going to say to him? How am I going to say it? This is important and it matters how I react and what I say and how I say it."  I want my children to trust me. I want them to be able to come to me with anything, good or bad. So I knew this was a big deal if I wanted him to ever come to me again (or call for me).

On the drive to meet them, I tried to call my brother. I knew he would have experience with this sort of thing. He raised two boys. It was a bit after 11pm his time so he didn't answer. I tried four straight times. I tried calling another friend who also raised two boys. No answer also after four straight times of trying to call. I was on the verge of crying. I was scared for Jacob and what all this was going to mean for him. I was sick to the pit of my stomach because he did something so stupid. So in those few minutes I had alone driving to him, I willed myself to "be still" and I prayed. I asked God to please give me the right words to say, the right tone to say the words and I prayed this would be a life lesson never to be repeated. I also thanked God for keeping my son safe and the lives of the other boys as well.

I met them in a neighborhood, a very nice neighborhood. One of the other boys who was with Jacob lives there. Let's just say neighborhood boy's car wound up on a tow truck at 1am.  He wanted to go for a little "off roading" drive in a field at 11:30 at night without knowing what was in said field. Jacob did warn him and told him it was a very bad idea b/c there could be big ditches and who knows what else. Boy driver didn't listen and went anyway and it wasn't three seconds later until they wound up in a big ditch--hitting it hard--hard enough to sling the boys around, give one a bloody nose and cause the side air bags to deploy. The "crash" made enough racket to rouse the neighbors and someone called the police. Ok, enough said about that... this started the whole chain of events. I'm not going to go into detail of what Jacob was charged with and what he could have been charged with or the fact that the Deputy could have arrested him, but what I will say, is that Jacob was sufficiently scared out of his mind. And that is a very good thing.  When I pulled up behind them, Jacob was sitting in the back of the police cruiser.  "Here we go," I thought.  The Deputy was still writing up the report but he did roll down the window so I could speak with Jacob. He wasn't allowed out of the car just yet. I talked to him, told him I was thankful he was not hurt and then I just waited.  Once the Deputy finished his report, he got out of the car and spoke to me and to Jacob. He told me that Jacob had been very cooperative and very respectful and he very much appreciated it. He said he had an 18 year old son as well and knew kids made very "bonehead mistakes" sometimes. He told Jacob this, warned him about any future "mistakes" and what it could mean and he told him he hoped he would accept these consequences and move forward and learn from this and make sure it never happened again. Jacob's choice. I was thankful this Deputy Sheriff was kind to my boy and didn't charge him with all he could have charged him with. I was thankful Jacob was respectful and cooperative and sorry. He was indeed sorry.

I put him in my car and his friend drove his truck back to the house. We talked on the way home. We talked; it was quiet at times; he was truly sorry. For this moment, I didn't know of anything else that needed to be said. A big part of Jacob's lesson was sitting in the back of that police cruiser wondering what on earth was going to happen next--the unknown--the consequences--having to face head on a big fat bonehead mistake. So for this night, we were done.  I told Jacob and his friend to go to bed. It was 1:30 in the morning and we all needed some sleep. I told them again how thankful I was for their safety and no one was seriously injured. I told them I loved them...because I do. No matter what, my love is and will always be unconditional. I just hope and pray I don't get any more phone calls from the Po-Po--EVER!

Kids! Whew!

D~