Sometimes Life Is Cray Totes Ma Goats!!!
The last few days have been crazy. It started last Saturday when I decided to drive to Asheville to see my aunt. I received a "serious" text from my uncle on Thursday saying, "P not doing good. I don't know how much more I can stand." Well, that was my clue to get myself to Aville to check the situation out myself. I finished my week at school and left Saturday morning. My visit was two-fold. My brother, Ray, just got back to Asheville last week and I wanted to see him and hang out for awhile, plus I wanted him to go with me to see our Dad. I had not seen my Dad in months.
I picked Ray up at my dad's house and we drove downtown to find lunch and a couple of Bloody Mary's. :) We wanted to go to Tupelo Honey Café but the wait was an hour and a half to two hours long. NOPE! (I have yet to eat there! It's always so busy.) We ended up at Buffalo Wild Wings (they serve alcohol). After lunch, we went to the nursing home to see Dad. Ya see, the thing with my dad is that he can't talk. He can say about two words coherently. We walked in and he looked so small to me. His face showed a little bit of recognition and he looked happy to see us. I don't really know if he knew who we were, but we acted like he did. We talked to him, hugged on him and we brought him one of his favorite treats, a strawberry milkshake. He had just taken a shower and shaved and he smelled so good, so like a Dad. I just wanted to keep nuzzling him so I could smell the goodness. Reminded me of my grandfather and his after shave slap on of Mennen Afta Shave (green liquid) or my all time favorite and still is, Old Spice. OMG!! OLD.SPICE. LOVE! I will get all up in your neck all day long if you have OS on!
I took Ray back home and left out to go see my aunt. I needed to evaluate the situation and spend some time with her and perhaps give my uncle a small break. When I got there she was doing OK. She looked like she had lost 10 lbs and believe me, she doesn't even have 2 lbs. to lose! She weighs 110 soaking wet. I hugged her and it felt like I was hugging a skeleton. She tried to be jovial and upbeat, but the truth is, she was not doing well--physically or mentally. She's just so NERVOUS, and when I say that I'm not sure how to explain it. With her, it involves non-stop talking, constant fidgeting, going outside to smoke, coming back in, going back out. When we talk about things, it has to be what SHE wants to talk about. The first hint of "I don't agree with you" and she about has a panic attack. Whatever meds she is taking for "the nervousness," is clearly not working. I stayed as long as I could; I felt like my presence was just making her more nervous. I went back to my dad's house and stayed the night with my brother and cousin. We had a good time visiting and catching up.
I drove back home Sunday afternoon. I needed to get back so I could help Jared pack for "college." I knew there would be some laundry to do and some general organizing. We were off school for MLK Day so I'm glad I didn't need to "take a day" to take Jared to school. We left home Monday morning around 9:30. It's a 2 hour drive to Athens, WV, where he is attending college... Concord University. This is "new" for him. He is transferring in... all because of soccer. Concord apparently has a great Pre-Med program as well. (This is what Jared wants to do...eventually become an Orthopedic Surgeon). We get to the school, start the admissions process... it ends up being an ordeal b/c the college doesn't seem to be too organized. They can't find the papers they need; we don't have all the information we need b/c we weren't told to bring it, etc... It turns out we don't have to pay any tuition yet b/c there are too many "blank spaces" not yet filled out. Whoever heard of , "Oh, you don't need to pay us anything until you get a bill?" WHAT?? Really. OK. I did discover one of the great perks about this school is that Jared will get a $4000 tuition reduction simply b/c I'm a teacher!! HOORAY! He will get a transfer scholarship, out of state scholarship and he was also accepted into the Honors Program, which will get him another scholarship. Hallelujah and PTL!! After a couple hours of this, we then try to check him into his dorm and room that was pre-assigned to him. "Oh, sorry. We can't let you in that room b/c the previous guy has not "officially" called us to say he isn't coming back." (even though the boy is already in school somewhere else). Oh, my goodness... we went around the bush with this too... talked to several different people trying to figure out "what's the deal here?" They had us move his stuff into a "temporary room" until they could figure something out. We unload two full car loads of his stuff into this room (I'm freaking out over the filth I see), leave it all there and head to Wal-Mart. On the way to WM, Jared gets a call, "Hey, it's ok to move into that room now. We got it straightened out. We promise we will have some guys help you move your stuff when you get back." Yeah. You better have some guys!! He gets moved; we help him unpack; mom (me) gets the bleach out and scrubs the bathroom and sink area. I had to do it. I couldn't leave him in that disgusting beyond horrific filth. I just don't get how these boys can live in such squalor! Sick! I probably singed all of our lungs, but OH, WELL. He had a clean toilet and 2 clean sinks. I couldn't touch the shower, but I did spray it with everything I could find and told J to put on some shoes and a mask and go for it. Mom was done. We finally left WV and my boy, at 8:30 and got home at 10:30pm. It had been a long exhausting day. I wanted to crawl in bed and just sleep. The next day, Athens gets 6 inches of snow!! Jared's first day of classes were cancelled. He said, "too much snow and too cold." He even got a 2nd day of no classes. I'd say that was a pretty good start to a new semester! :)
Tuesday: Teacher Work Day. I took it and stayed home! However, I had report cards due by Thursday afternoon. No one would ever believe the amount of time report cards take for KINDERGARTEN!! It's insane! I'm not even kidding. I spend many hours getting these ready to go. Anyway, it's about 3:30pm and I get another text from my uncle... "P has been taken to the hospital." So of course I call him and ask what happened. My aunt had not been taking her medicine correctly or at all and as a result, she's been confused and doing strange things and having hallucinations, etc... So someone called and the EMS shows up to take her to the hospital. My uncle does not go with her. (yeah. I know.) So feeling bad about it and worrying about her, I get my stuff together, throw it in the car and drive back to Asheville straight to the hospital. I arrive around 8pm. I was able to the give the nurse on duty her medical history and talk to her a little bit about my aunt's happenings over the last 8 months. My aunt was assigned a "sitter." The sitter stays with her 24/7. This is a precautionary measure b/c of the concern of her falling, trying to get up out of bed, etc... The sitter was a good thing. I did stay overnight. I had to take Wednesday off, get a sub, rearrange things so I could help with my aunt. I visited her again on Wednesday for a couple of hours and then left for home--again. Work and report cards were calling me.
Thursday was my first day of work this week (rough). I stayed at school until 6pm working on report cards. I didn't get finished but left anyway b/c they were going to lock the doors on me. Thank GOD we had a 2 hour delay Friday morning. I still had to be at school by 8, but no kids till 10! This gave me enough time to get those blasted things done! You just don't know what a relief it is to have that burden off my shoulders--at least for another 9 weeks! I came home Friday and just collapsed on the couch. I was exhausted. I had the house to myself. JR and J were at work and the other J went to the Lake for the weekend. I just needed a bit of a rest before getting back on the road headed West.
Saturday... back to Asheville. I had not heard one word from my uncle all week. I had no idea what was going on with my aunt, where she was going to go--Pysch Ward or nursing facility or home??? It was all up in the air. As I was driving on I-40W, my uncle finally calls me and says, "She's being discharged at 4 this afternoon and I'm bringing her home." Why haven't I heard from you this week? I've called. I've texted. His reply, "I turned my phone off and didn't talk to anyone. I was just too nervous and was afraid I would say something I shouldn't." Well, I don't know what he thought he was going to say that he shouldn't but whatever. He was going to the hospital to get her and bring her home and stay there with her. I am thankful for his willingness in this, otherwise she would have to go to a nursing facility. I visited with them and went to the grocery store for them. My take on my aunt's condition is that she is still very ill, very frail, very "out there" with her thinking. She is beyond nervous. I'm not sure I can explain that term unless you've been there yourself or know of someone plagued with this ailment. Anxiety/nervousness/panic attacks/mental illness... they are all VERY REAL. It's not something that someone can just turn off. It can't even be stopped, not really. I've decided there isn't a drug on this planet that can help my aunt. She is pitiful and my heart breaks for her. She wants to be well, but she never will be again. That is sad. In her mind, she is trying so hard... trying not to smoke too much or drink too much coffee, trying to keep the house clean, trying to take her medicine like she should; she is trying. I believe it is her determination that keeps her going. She bounces back from every horrific thing that happens to her. Perhaps not in the way you and I would heal, but she's still here and it flat out amazes me. I ask God all the time, WHY?? WHY do you let her stay here in this torment? I don't know that answer and I'm sure I never will. There's even a part of me that understands this "anxiety" bit. I've been feeling it for a long time now. Stress... it does do crazy things to a person. I left my aunt today (Sunday) and told her I would see her soon. I will be praying for her and for my uncle. Their days are not easy. Their days are not really happy. They exist and try to survive each 24 hours until the "next 24."
So yeah, it's been a really "cray totes ma goats" rough week. I've driven back and forth to Asheville three times in 7 days (2 hours there/2 hours back). At times it seems my exhaustion is going to get the better of me. What overwhelms me is threatening to smother me. I find I'm in a continual battle these days. Tomorrow is Monday... a new school week with my Littles. They do bring me joy and I have a responsibility to them as well. I may not want to go, but I will. I do hope this week will be less stressful and the days will just "feel better." I need a bit of a break.
I'm hoping for snow!! Lots of snow!!
D~
I picked Ray up at my dad's house and we drove downtown to find lunch and a couple of Bloody Mary's. :) We wanted to go to Tupelo Honey Café but the wait was an hour and a half to two hours long. NOPE! (I have yet to eat there! It's always so busy.) We ended up at Buffalo Wild Wings (they serve alcohol). After lunch, we went to the nursing home to see Dad. Ya see, the thing with my dad is that he can't talk. He can say about two words coherently. We walked in and he looked so small to me. His face showed a little bit of recognition and he looked happy to see us. I don't really know if he knew who we were, but we acted like he did. We talked to him, hugged on him and we brought him one of his favorite treats, a strawberry milkshake. He had just taken a shower and shaved and he smelled so good, so like a Dad. I just wanted to keep nuzzling him so I could smell the goodness. Reminded me of my grandfather and his after shave slap on of Mennen Afta Shave (green liquid) or my all time favorite and still is, Old Spice. OMG!! OLD.SPICE. LOVE! I will get all up in your neck all day long if you have OS on!
I took Ray back home and left out to go see my aunt. I needed to evaluate the situation and spend some time with her and perhaps give my uncle a small break. When I got there she was doing OK. She looked like she had lost 10 lbs and believe me, she doesn't even have 2 lbs. to lose! She weighs 110 soaking wet. I hugged her and it felt like I was hugging a skeleton. She tried to be jovial and upbeat, but the truth is, she was not doing well--physically or mentally. She's just so NERVOUS, and when I say that I'm not sure how to explain it. With her, it involves non-stop talking, constant fidgeting, going outside to smoke, coming back in, going back out. When we talk about things, it has to be what SHE wants to talk about. The first hint of "I don't agree with you" and she about has a panic attack. Whatever meds she is taking for "the nervousness," is clearly not working. I stayed as long as I could; I felt like my presence was just making her more nervous. I went back to my dad's house and stayed the night with my brother and cousin. We had a good time visiting and catching up.
I drove back home Sunday afternoon. I needed to get back so I could help Jared pack for "college." I knew there would be some laundry to do and some general organizing. We were off school for MLK Day so I'm glad I didn't need to "take a day" to take Jared to school. We left home Monday morning around 9:30. It's a 2 hour drive to Athens, WV, where he is attending college... Concord University. This is "new" for him. He is transferring in... all because of soccer. Concord apparently has a great Pre-Med program as well. (This is what Jared wants to do...eventually become an Orthopedic Surgeon). We get to the school, start the admissions process... it ends up being an ordeal b/c the college doesn't seem to be too organized. They can't find the papers they need; we don't have all the information we need b/c we weren't told to bring it, etc... It turns out we don't have to pay any tuition yet b/c there are too many "blank spaces" not yet filled out. Whoever heard of , "Oh, you don't need to pay us anything until you get a bill?" WHAT?? Really. OK. I did discover one of the great perks about this school is that Jared will get a $4000 tuition reduction simply b/c I'm a teacher!! HOORAY! He will get a transfer scholarship, out of state scholarship and he was also accepted into the Honors Program, which will get him another scholarship. Hallelujah and PTL!! After a couple hours of this, we then try to check him into his dorm and room that was pre-assigned to him. "Oh, sorry. We can't let you in that room b/c the previous guy has not "officially" called us to say he isn't coming back." (even though the boy is already in school somewhere else). Oh, my goodness... we went around the bush with this too... talked to several different people trying to figure out "what's the deal here?" They had us move his stuff into a "temporary room" until they could figure something out. We unload two full car loads of his stuff into this room (I'm freaking out over the filth I see), leave it all there and head to Wal-Mart. On the way to WM, Jared gets a call, "Hey, it's ok to move into that room now. We got it straightened out. We promise we will have some guys help you move your stuff when you get back." Yeah. You better have some guys!! He gets moved; we help him unpack; mom (me) gets the bleach out and scrubs the bathroom and sink area. I had to do it. I couldn't leave him in that disgusting beyond horrific filth. I just don't get how these boys can live in such squalor! Sick! I probably singed all of our lungs, but OH, WELL. He had a clean toilet and 2 clean sinks. I couldn't touch the shower, but I did spray it with everything I could find and told J to put on some shoes and a mask and go for it. Mom was done. We finally left WV and my boy, at 8:30 and got home at 10:30pm. It had been a long exhausting day. I wanted to crawl in bed and just sleep. The next day, Athens gets 6 inches of snow!! Jared's first day of classes were cancelled. He said, "too much snow and too cold." He even got a 2nd day of no classes. I'd say that was a pretty good start to a new semester! :)
Tuesday: Teacher Work Day. I took it and stayed home! However, I had report cards due by Thursday afternoon. No one would ever believe the amount of time report cards take for KINDERGARTEN!! It's insane! I'm not even kidding. I spend many hours getting these ready to go. Anyway, it's about 3:30pm and I get another text from my uncle... "P has been taken to the hospital." So of course I call him and ask what happened. My aunt had not been taking her medicine correctly or at all and as a result, she's been confused and doing strange things and having hallucinations, etc... So someone called and the EMS shows up to take her to the hospital. My uncle does not go with her. (yeah. I know.) So feeling bad about it and worrying about her, I get my stuff together, throw it in the car and drive back to Asheville straight to the hospital. I arrive around 8pm. I was able to the give the nurse on duty her medical history and talk to her a little bit about my aunt's happenings over the last 8 months. My aunt was assigned a "sitter." The sitter stays with her 24/7. This is a precautionary measure b/c of the concern of her falling, trying to get up out of bed, etc... The sitter was a good thing. I did stay overnight. I had to take Wednesday off, get a sub, rearrange things so I could help with my aunt. I visited her again on Wednesday for a couple of hours and then left for home--again. Work and report cards were calling me.
Thursday was my first day of work this week (rough). I stayed at school until 6pm working on report cards. I didn't get finished but left anyway b/c they were going to lock the doors on me. Thank GOD we had a 2 hour delay Friday morning. I still had to be at school by 8, but no kids till 10! This gave me enough time to get those blasted things done! You just don't know what a relief it is to have that burden off my shoulders--at least for another 9 weeks! I came home Friday and just collapsed on the couch. I was exhausted. I had the house to myself. JR and J were at work and the other J went to the Lake for the weekend. I just needed a bit of a rest before getting back on the road headed West.
Saturday... back to Asheville. I had not heard one word from my uncle all week. I had no idea what was going on with my aunt, where she was going to go--Pysch Ward or nursing facility or home??? It was all up in the air. As I was driving on I-40W, my uncle finally calls me and says, "She's being discharged at 4 this afternoon and I'm bringing her home." Why haven't I heard from you this week? I've called. I've texted. His reply, "I turned my phone off and didn't talk to anyone. I was just too nervous and was afraid I would say something I shouldn't." Well, I don't know what he thought he was going to say that he shouldn't but whatever. He was going to the hospital to get her and bring her home and stay there with her. I am thankful for his willingness in this, otherwise she would have to go to a nursing facility. I visited with them and went to the grocery store for them. My take on my aunt's condition is that she is still very ill, very frail, very "out there" with her thinking. She is beyond nervous. I'm not sure I can explain that term unless you've been there yourself or know of someone plagued with this ailment. Anxiety/nervousness/panic attacks/mental illness... they are all VERY REAL. It's not something that someone can just turn off. It can't even be stopped, not really. I've decided there isn't a drug on this planet that can help my aunt. She is pitiful and my heart breaks for her. She wants to be well, but she never will be again. That is sad. In her mind, she is trying so hard... trying not to smoke too much or drink too much coffee, trying to keep the house clean, trying to take her medicine like she should; she is trying. I believe it is her determination that keeps her going. She bounces back from every horrific thing that happens to her. Perhaps not in the way you and I would heal, but she's still here and it flat out amazes me. I ask God all the time, WHY?? WHY do you let her stay here in this torment? I don't know that answer and I'm sure I never will. There's even a part of me that understands this "anxiety" bit. I've been feeling it for a long time now. Stress... it does do crazy things to a person. I left my aunt today (Sunday) and told her I would see her soon. I will be praying for her and for my uncle. Their days are not easy. Their days are not really happy. They exist and try to survive each 24 hours until the "next 24."
So yeah, it's been a really "cray totes ma goats" rough week. I've driven back and forth to Asheville three times in 7 days (2 hours there/2 hours back). At times it seems my exhaustion is going to get the better of me. What overwhelms me is threatening to smother me. I find I'm in a continual battle these days. Tomorrow is Monday... a new school week with my Littles. They do bring me joy and I have a responsibility to them as well. I may not want to go, but I will. I do hope this week will be less stressful and the days will just "feel better." I need a bit of a break.
I'm hoping for snow!! Lots of snow!!
D~
Comments
Post a Comment