Had to Get Outta Dodge


Although Christmas was wonderful and everything seemed to fall into place with little incident, there always comes an "After Christmas."  What happens "after Christmas?"  Typically, my family heads to Ghent, WV, to my brother in law's lake house for several days, including New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.  Usually the house is full of family... cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. It has always been such great fun for everyone, but especially all the kids.  Well, my family left for the lake Saturday night--without me. This is the first time I have not gone and I'm not gonna lie, it hurt to watch them drive away. Actually, I couldn't watch them drive away. Before they were even out of the garage, I had to turn around, hurry in the house where I promptly burst into tears.

I allowed myself only a few minutes of "cry time"; I knew I couldn't go "full out" or I would be in a big ole mess and unable to get a grip. I thought about calling one of my friends, or all of them, but then decided against that too. I just needed to rearrange my thinking and get busy doing something, anything.  I did, but in the back of mind I was very much missing not being at the lake with my family and extended family. You see, I haven't seen any of them since LAST January (at the lake). I haven't seen my in-laws or my nephews or nieces, and for a family oriented person, this has been very difficult. I have wanted to see them, but it all feels so awkward. Family is important to me and celebrating events or occasions has always been a big deal. The G side of the family has been my family for the last 30 years, sometimes even more so than my own. When this stuff with J started, I hoped that my relationship with his parents and brothers would not change, at least not drastically. After all, I am still the same person whether I'm married to their son or brother or not. Right? I'm still me. I still love them and that will never change. I didn't marry any of them; I married J. It is with him only that there are issues. I know of a lot of divorced couples that remain in close contact with the in-laws and rest of the family.  They continue to have a good relationship despite the divorce. I really really wanted this to be true for us as well. Maybe it will—in time. I have a feeling it will be up to me if it does.  Am I living in a fantasy world to think/hope this could be true?

So the thoughts of staying home by myself for the next week, did not appeal to me AT. ALL. I had to get outta Dodge.  I made arrangements to go to one of my favorite places… the beach. I have friends who own a condo on Oak Island and I asked to rent it out for a few days. Luckily for me, it was vacant this week. I called my friend, Katie, and asked her to go with me for New Years… plan made. Now just wait till Monday to go…

I’ve been here at OKI for 4 nights now and I absolutely love it here. This was a great idea and has been so good for me, good for both of us. I didn’t have to celebrate New Year’s Eve alone! We got dressed up, went out to eat, had a very nice meal and glass of wine, and then came back to the condo to watch ABC’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and watch that famous BALL drop at the stroke of midnight.  There was no one here to kiss, but we made a toast to 2014 and whatever it might bring.  Cheers, my Friend! Thank you for being here with me and making this hurtful situation somewhat bearable.

We brought each other’s Christmas gifts and decided to spread out the opening over the two nights Katie was going to be here.  I LOVE getting presents from Katie. She finds stuff all year long that “fits me.” She knows what I like, what will mean something to me and always finds just the right “stuff.” It is so much fun opening her gifts to me. I try to do the same thing for her and somehow both of us always get it right.  So over the last few days we’ve rung in the New Year together, been shopping at some of our favorite little shops, eaten delicious fresh seafood in Southport and Oak Island, saw a movie (American Hustle-don’t really recommend it), explored the island a bit, and have enjoyed morning talk time over coffee and breakfast. She left today because she has to go back to work tomorrow (reality bites) and even though it has been a very rainy dreary cold day here today and now I’m here all by myself (P.S. with no Internet), I am still at the beach; I am still at my favorite place; I still feel the hurt inside but I am giving thanks for some very good days… “after Christmas.”

D~

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