Some Things You Just Can't Explain
I was in Asheville visiting my aunt 3 Sundays ago. I had not planned on going to Asheville that day, but when I called my uncle to check on how my aunt was doing, he said, "Not good, Dawn." I made a quick decision and told him I would be there in two hours. I had to go home first, change clothes, leave notes for the family and then get on my way. I arrived at her house about 3:30pm. You see, I'm the only immediate family my aunt has left. I'm it. I'm her health care power of attorney. I look out for her best interests, take care of her finances when she can't. I definitely make a lot of trips on Interstate 40 West.
When I walked in, she was standing in the kitchen and seemed genuinely excited to see me. She gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. From there, things went downhill. I tried to talk to her about how she was feeling, what was going on with her recovery, generally just ask her questions so she would talk to me, but she couldn't carry on a conversation with me. Her thoughts were disjointed and she was doing strange things with her hands, kind of along the lines of OCD behaviors. She was doing things repeatedly over and over again. She was constantly wanting cold water and then going to the bathroom whether she really needed to go or not. She thought she did. She took a paper towel and cleaned the faucet over and over, back and forth in the same kind of motion. All in all, very strange behavior. This behavior is something totally different from anything she has done previously. I was really getting concerned. I didn't know whether we should call the doctor, take her to the hospital, or what.
After I had been there about an hour, my friend, Katie dropped by. Katie and I have been friends, more like sisters, since we were 15 years old. Katie had been living in Hickory, NC for the past 30 years and moved back to Asheville a little over a year ago. She knew I was driving up to Aville, and unbeknownst to me, decided to stop by my aunt's place. When my aunt saw her, she started to cry and hugged her and didn't want to let go. It was like seeing Katie unhinged something in her brain. My aunt began talking pretty much non stop. She couldn't sit still for very long and went outside to the front area with my uncle to smoke a cigarette. Katie and I were sitting in the living room talking, when my uncle opened the front door and yelled for me to come help him. When I got outside, my aunt was having a major seizure. Her head was back and she was stiff as a board... arms and legs extended in front of her. Inside, I panicked, and thought, "Oh, my Lord! She is going to die right here right now!" She quit breathing. She was turning this awful pasty color and her eyes wouldn't even blink! Foolishly, I tried to pry her mouth open so she could breathe, then realized it was no use and I'm not even supposed to try that in a seizure situation. Her jaws could clamp down on my fingers or hand and that would be that!
About that moment when I thought I was going to lose it, all of a sudden a neighbor lady is right beside my left elbow trying to help me with my aunt. Turns out she is a nurse!! Thank you, God!! You sent us an angel!! She helped me lay her down on the deck and started to do CPR then stopped. She asked me if she had a living will. It stunned me for a brief moment. Again, bringing home the fact that she could die right here. I told her she was "DNR." (do not resuscitate) Let's say her name is "Sue". Sue stopped all attempts at CPR and told me to just make her comfortable. Katie got something to lay her head on and a blanket to cover her stiff little body. Now mind you, my aunt is 72 yrs. old and weighs about 95 lbs. soaking wet. We rolled her on her side and waited for the ambulance. Those minutes, however many there were, were the longest minutes in history. I felt completely helpless to do anything. I don't like that feeling and it is not in my nature to "do nothing," but I literally could do nothing while we were waiting. I stayed on the deck with her, tried to talk to her, rub her arm, let her know we were getting help, etc... Meanwhile, Katie was in the house trying to help Bobby. He was on the verge of a panic attack/heart attack/something himself. He was completely undone by the events and very shakey. Katie helped to calm him down. Again, so thankful Katie was with us. No way to explain how she came to stop by when she did but she did.
By the time the ambulance got there, my aunt was becoming conscious and trying to say a few words. The paramedics were checking her over and noticed her left arm was broken. WHAT???? Actually it was her wrist, but the crazy thing is, my aunt did NOTHING to break her wrist. She didn't fall. She didn't hit it on anything. It's just broken. I said, "No way! She hasn't fallen or anything. We've been so careful with her." My aunt's bones are as brittle as dry twigs and will snap at the slightest pressure. The only thing we could figure out was when she had the seizure and her arms stiffened so hard, that the muscles contracted around her wrist bone, and simply snapped it. It turned out to be a pretty bad break. The ambulance took her to Mission Hospital and the three of us met them there. It ended up being a very long night. I called my principal to tell him I would not be at school the next day. I had to arrange for a sub, call my assistant, etc... We waited a very long time in the ER before anything really got underway. My aunt was fully awake by now and talking literally non-stop. I'm not exaggerating in the least. Talking NON-STOP. Nothing we could do or say could get her to stop talking. This was the bi-polar side taking over. I guess I haven't mentioned that my aunt has a very long history of mental illness. Well, she does and it ain't pretty. Believe me. In fact, it's very very sad. She lives constantly in her own personal torment with never a break. Never. I don't understand this type of cruel punishment.
I asked Katie to drive Bobby home and I would stay until my aunt was assigned a room in the hospital. I finally left at 12:30am. Nurses said she had a room and someone would be taking her up shortly. Well, "shortly" in medical terms could be an eternity and I was beyond exhausted. I asked them to call me if anything changed and told them I was leaving. I couldn't do anything more for her.
I stopped at the hospital on my way out of town the next day and my aunt seemed more herself and was even sitting up in a chair. She could carry a conversation at least. Perhaps not to the degree *you and I* would talk, but I could understand what she was saying. BIG improvement!! She ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days then was transferred to a skilled nursing facility for rehab for her wrist and to help her with mobility issues. A skilled nursing facility is just a fancy name for "nursing home" and we all know what those are like! :(
This story is much longer and I could keep writing b/c things went from bad to worse over the course of the next several days, but I don't want to touch that right now. I am just so thankful for Katie being in the right place at the right time. I'm thankful that neighbor just miraculously showed up beside me. I mean, she literally just appeared. I'm thankful I decided to drive up to Asheville that afternoon. I am thankful God looks out for us and sends people/things/situations that just can't be explained sometimes, especially when we are standing on rocky ground.
D~
When I walked in, she was standing in the kitchen and seemed genuinely excited to see me. She gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. From there, things went downhill. I tried to talk to her about how she was feeling, what was going on with her recovery, generally just ask her questions so she would talk to me, but she couldn't carry on a conversation with me. Her thoughts were disjointed and she was doing strange things with her hands, kind of along the lines of OCD behaviors. She was doing things repeatedly over and over again. She was constantly wanting cold water and then going to the bathroom whether she really needed to go or not. She thought she did. She took a paper towel and cleaned the faucet over and over, back and forth in the same kind of motion. All in all, very strange behavior. This behavior is something totally different from anything she has done previously. I was really getting concerned. I didn't know whether we should call the doctor, take her to the hospital, or what.
After I had been there about an hour, my friend, Katie dropped by. Katie and I have been friends, more like sisters, since we were 15 years old. Katie had been living in Hickory, NC for the past 30 years and moved back to Asheville a little over a year ago. She knew I was driving up to Aville, and unbeknownst to me, decided to stop by my aunt's place. When my aunt saw her, she started to cry and hugged her and didn't want to let go. It was like seeing Katie unhinged something in her brain. My aunt began talking pretty much non stop. She couldn't sit still for very long and went outside to the front area with my uncle to smoke a cigarette. Katie and I were sitting in the living room talking, when my uncle opened the front door and yelled for me to come help him. When I got outside, my aunt was having a major seizure. Her head was back and she was stiff as a board... arms and legs extended in front of her. Inside, I panicked, and thought, "Oh, my Lord! She is going to die right here right now!" She quit breathing. She was turning this awful pasty color and her eyes wouldn't even blink! Foolishly, I tried to pry her mouth open so she could breathe, then realized it was no use and I'm not even supposed to try that in a seizure situation. Her jaws could clamp down on my fingers or hand and that would be that!
About that moment when I thought I was going to lose it, all of a sudden a neighbor lady is right beside my left elbow trying to help me with my aunt. Turns out she is a nurse!! Thank you, God!! You sent us an angel!! She helped me lay her down on the deck and started to do CPR then stopped. She asked me if she had a living will. It stunned me for a brief moment. Again, bringing home the fact that she could die right here. I told her she was "DNR." (do not resuscitate) Let's say her name is "Sue". Sue stopped all attempts at CPR and told me to just make her comfortable. Katie got something to lay her head on and a blanket to cover her stiff little body. Now mind you, my aunt is 72 yrs. old and weighs about 95 lbs. soaking wet. We rolled her on her side and waited for the ambulance. Those minutes, however many there were, were the longest minutes in history. I felt completely helpless to do anything. I don't like that feeling and it is not in my nature to "do nothing," but I literally could do nothing while we were waiting. I stayed on the deck with her, tried to talk to her, rub her arm, let her know we were getting help, etc... Meanwhile, Katie was in the house trying to help Bobby. He was on the verge of a panic attack/heart attack/something himself. He was completely undone by the events and very shakey. Katie helped to calm him down. Again, so thankful Katie was with us. No way to explain how she came to stop by when she did but she did.
By the time the ambulance got there, my aunt was becoming conscious and trying to say a few words. The paramedics were checking her over and noticed her left arm was broken. WHAT???? Actually it was her wrist, but the crazy thing is, my aunt did NOTHING to break her wrist. She didn't fall. She didn't hit it on anything. It's just broken. I said, "No way! She hasn't fallen or anything. We've been so careful with her." My aunt's bones are as brittle as dry twigs and will snap at the slightest pressure. The only thing we could figure out was when she had the seizure and her arms stiffened so hard, that the muscles contracted around her wrist bone, and simply snapped it. It turned out to be a pretty bad break. The ambulance took her to Mission Hospital and the three of us met them there. It ended up being a very long night. I called my principal to tell him I would not be at school the next day. I had to arrange for a sub, call my assistant, etc... We waited a very long time in the ER before anything really got underway. My aunt was fully awake by now and talking literally non-stop. I'm not exaggerating in the least. Talking NON-STOP. Nothing we could do or say could get her to stop talking. This was the bi-polar side taking over. I guess I haven't mentioned that my aunt has a very long history of mental illness. Well, she does and it ain't pretty. Believe me. In fact, it's very very sad. She lives constantly in her own personal torment with never a break. Never. I don't understand this type of cruel punishment.
I asked Katie to drive Bobby home and I would stay until my aunt was assigned a room in the hospital. I finally left at 12:30am. Nurses said she had a room and someone would be taking her up shortly. Well, "shortly" in medical terms could be an eternity and I was beyond exhausted. I asked them to call me if anything changed and told them I was leaving. I couldn't do anything more for her.
I stopped at the hospital on my way out of town the next day and my aunt seemed more herself and was even sitting up in a chair. She could carry a conversation at least. Perhaps not to the degree *you and I* would talk, but I could understand what she was saying. BIG improvement!! She ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days then was transferred to a skilled nursing facility for rehab for her wrist and to help her with mobility issues. A skilled nursing facility is just a fancy name for "nursing home" and we all know what those are like! :(
This story is much longer and I could keep writing b/c things went from bad to worse over the course of the next several days, but I don't want to touch that right now. I am just so thankful for Katie being in the right place at the right time. I'm thankful that neighbor just miraculously showed up beside me. I mean, she literally just appeared. I'm thankful I decided to drive up to Asheville that afternoon. I am thankful God looks out for us and sends people/things/situations that just can't be explained sometimes, especially when we are standing on rocky ground.
D~
oh. my. word.
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